When it comes to weight loss, like a prostitute on Gerrard St. E, I am one of those people who has tried it in every position. From the cabbage soup diet, to Hydroxycut, to weight management clinics, and even the E word (exercise!), my weight loss challenge has been one kinky ride. Albeit, I have attained cumulative success over the years. I deflated from 275 lbs to 169 lbs, and out of left field triple axelled back up to 200 lbs three years later. Why? BECAUSE I LOVE FOOOOD!
My search for new methods never ends. I am constantly barraging my friends with the crap I read on the internet, believing that if for some reason I express interest in it, I'll follow it. That being said, dear friends: all that shit I've unloaded on you, I probably never tried.
Recently, I have decided to go back to basics. I made this decision in my berth one night as we caravanned across Alberta on the train. You see, Diego, Nicole and I made a pact on New Years Day that before Vancouver, we were going to get our asses in shape. This decision came after a night of heavy eating, leading to a type of hangover we know all too well. January flew by, then came February (I started doing squats in our apartment, but that lasted for four days); the March thaw I figured would compel me to get my shit together and use (for a second time) the Ryerson gym membership Diego and I purchased in January. No such luck. April was a reality slap... only five more weeks until we boarded that train and I actually gained two pounds! Had all my believing not paid off? I was beginning to sweat. Before we knew it, the three of us actually believed that we'd lose weight on the train before we got there. Why this thought actually crossed our minds is clear evidence of delirium, since we each gained a total of five pounds over those five days! Upon that fifth and final day aboard the train, we hypothesized that with all the walking we'd be doing in Vancouver, we'd lose weight on vacation.
There you have it. We were getting our asses in shape for our vacation... ON OUR VACATION.
It is important to know that Nicole won our weight loss challenge. Her french fry diet worked in her favour! I too lost weight, but broke even by only losing the five pound train fat. Diego's results were similar. The sad part is that our "foodie aura" attuned with our friend Steph, whom we were staying with, and caused her to actually gain weight! Sorry about that Steph, but thanks for letting us hang with you in BC!
So back to basics. I am taking all the knowledge I've gained in my quest for liberty over my lifetime and picking out the success factors. This includes:
- A food journal. People who record what they eat tend to consume 30% less than they normally would. It's true. Give it a shot. You've got nothing to lose but time and function of your wrists as a consequence of carpal tunnel syndrome.
- Hydration. Drinking water actually suppresses your appetite. Sometimes when you feel hungry, you're actually beginning to dehydrate. Often, any physical or mental stress is expressed via the animal brain as hunger... Hunger is the only thing your animal brain understands because it is in charge of keeping you alive. You're animal brain looses his/her shit and says, "gimme gimme food. gimme food." much to the tune of Britney Spears' song, Gimme More... at least in my head. Then again, I'm somewhere over the rainbow, if you know what I mean. Anyhow, drinking down water drowns that little prick who's keeping you fat.
- Essential Fatty Acids (EFA). This actually works. EFA's do something to your brain that triggers the "I'm full" feeling. However, you wont feel the effects until you've been taking 1000 mg daily for about a month. They also help metabolize the bad fats! Incorporate foods like fish, flax, chia, and COPS oils (Canola, Olive, Peanut, and Safflower) into your diet to help with the induction phase of adding EFA to your regiment. I love EFAs. They help you poop.
- Mindrobics. This is actually a cheesy 90's fad word that comes from smashing Mind + Aerobics together. Mindrobics are mental exercises such as visualization, hypnosis, and meditation... basically, a workout for your brain that helps you relax and create new behaviours. I vouch for this, namely hypnosis and meditation. These two together have really changed my outlook on weight management.
Since initiating my latest regiment, I am down seven pounds since arriving back in Toronto. I'll keep you posted.
Eat Up! With love,
Ty
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